Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. If I had a tail, I would wag it! "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Oh, what a long list. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. That's boyfriend material. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. 75. 101. Could Be Payday. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Pick your struggle. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Thank you Fred. Sort of. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. I'm alive! Who told you that? The government? But, they will grow up into a dog. Still, the ghosters ghost on. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Yup, I dont share it. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). 13. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. All rights reserved. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! How did you get here? It could always have been worse. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. So, how does average sound? OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Are those space pants? Your email address will not be published. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. I'm loved! 3. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Congratulations, sir. 4. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! 37. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. What do you say when people ask you that? Cookie Notice Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! 3. Unlikely, but worth a shot. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. No, not really. 10. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. 2. Im in a relationship with myself. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Financially? You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. They might even steal it to use in the future. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Im not single. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Sorry, life. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. "Yeah, you're three years late. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Reply. Moving in with Roommates? Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. 4. How do you think that I am doing? One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. 15. 30. A real low-life. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Do you have a minute? To contact our editors please use our contact form. Have you met food? I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. 40. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. 95. 14. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Follow for more funny content!! Is my relationship status a joke to you?! 1. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. I repeat I am plural! I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Could be payday. Finnish with this conversation! Because they are already taking their time. 12. Feeling confident? At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. I always yawn when Im interested. I have been going through GOT in my work life. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Do you want the short or the detailed version? If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. 83. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. 5. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. 56. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Then the worms eat you. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. There are nosy people everywhere! Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 67. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Spiritually? It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. 16. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. You don't need to say it. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. 98. Mentally? Living the dream! #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. 91. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. I'm wondering how you are. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Is your family tree a cactus? conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. I plead the fifth. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 9. Could have been worse, right. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. 94. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. 66. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Are you serious? What do you mean Im still single. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. 28. 47. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. I just adore my own company. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. No one loves superheroes. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." Best "How Are You?" Answers. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. You dont need to say it. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? 14. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Youre totally on the same page. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. 36. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. You win the internet. Does the new one work any better? 80. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. But Ive also had better. 4. 1. How Am I Still Alive. 12. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. 81. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 1. 88. Feel my shirt. Best 45 seconds of my life. Hope you're well". I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. 3. 42. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. How are you? 16. 11. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. I hope you like some of them. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. 79. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Funny as phuck. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Youll go far someday. At least my hair looks amazing. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Its too small to be out there all alone. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. I'm used to it, anyway. 84. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Better inside than outside. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Heart-shattering. It's best part of the whole movie. 5. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. 96. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. *licks lips*. 10. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Stupidity isnt a crime. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Have you been thinking? (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. Required fields are marked *. Not so much. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." and our Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. 17. Usually, people live and learn. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Physically? If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. I never even listen when you tell me them. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. 2. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). 41. "You know I can do this anytime.". 58. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. I cant really complain, but I will still try. 9. Reply. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. I dont know. Hanging by a thread. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. So, you changed your mind? Shane from The L Word? 13. 8. Stop joking! Thats because Im still waiting for you. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Im sorry. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I will leave that up to your imagination. 3. It's Okay. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! but that was before I read Fred's comment below. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Youre not as bad as everyone says. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Financially? What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Socioeconomically? Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. It's impossible for things to be perfect. No, they're prison pants. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. The answer is simple. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I hope you are at your best too. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 1. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. It's all about confidence. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? No, keep talking. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. And it's time for me to make my escape. . If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company].